Lt. Dan, you bought the wrong device! Some of the stuff you want is available on the Nokia E71, the closest thing to the Blackberry form factor. You can set a side button for "compose sms", giving you the one-touch text message creation you're looking for. Also, when you've got the message composed, hitting the green phone "Send" button will shoot your text off to the recipient.
The Blackberry has way superior email handling capabilities, but if email is not your focus then bail on the Blackberry and pick up the Nokia E71. For AT&T you want the E71-2 with the NAM 3G. Also, AT&T is about to release the E71 themselves at carrier-discounted prices.
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