To help with your issue on #5, on my 7100G I can press the Enter key or the Send key (green phone) and it just calls the user instead of giving you the menu or opening the item.
Also, in the messages settings, try changing the delete option to PROMPT instead of handheld or server. Now if you highlight several messages and delete them it will ask if you only want to kill them from the BB. So if you go to outgoing messages, highlight them all and delete only from BB, then they will still be in the sent folder on the exchange server.
Good luck
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