[CO_BBTechie]

I can't believe I'm encouraging this... and in fact, with such a desire on the OP's part to do what he has outlined, I can't believe he didn't find it. A simple Google search on "BlackBerry Spy" yielded this;

(Source: Slashdot | Blackberry "Spy" Software Released)

"Maybe the French were on to something after all. It turns out that there is a software available to easily spy on Blackberries, recording voice conversations and all messages (emails or SMS text message) that transmit through the portable device. Of course, the software has to be installed by the owner of the Blackberry, but it would not be surprising to find out that someone has found a way to silently auto-install that software on RIM devices. ZDNet reports that RIM isn't concerned: 'Ian Robertson, senior manager of security and research at RIM, said users need not be particularly worried about the capability of FlexiSPY. "While it's the subject of some debate, I don't consider it a virus nor a Trojan, as it does require conscientious effort from the user to load the program," he said. Robertson said an average user that maintains good [gadget] hygiene would never see the software loaded onto their device without their knowledge.'"

[haephaestus]

Nate, sorry to say, if it has gotten to the point where you start to feel the need to check her call and message log in order to gain trust, then it has begun the downward spiral. Sometimes you need to give her some privacy and see what she does with it. If she completely screws you over with that gift of privacy and trust, don't think of it as a failing on your part.

I've been down that road.

Good luck and sorry, dude.
-h

PS I don't know of any way to sniff out her messages but if you have access to her bill or she's on your family share plan or something, you can check out calls and incoming texts and their origination/destination and times. If you really want to get sneaky, maybe you could get a hold of her backups and reverse engineer them for the messages database, if she backs up regularly. Just search for ipd viewers.

[ericas8120]

I dealt with an ex who was persistent in another way but it was still along the lines of what the OP wants.

We had a good relationship up until 2 years before it ended. I developed a medical issue and he was persistent about me doing things against doctor's orders which started the whole phone issue. I switched my single line account to a Family Plan. MY WORST MISTAKE EVER. He started buying the most expensive phones on the planet and HUGE package minutes costing an arm and a leg.

After I finally woke up and realized he was the one running up the family plan we had (financially to where I had to use my savings account and credit union money to foot the bills), I cut his line and changed back to a Single Line (not once, but TWICE).

2 years ago (after medical issues on my part) we tried to patch things up. Didn't work. He begged and begged me to add him back onto my account and get another family plan. I didn't back down because of financial reasons. If I hadn't thought about it over night, I would have done it again for a THIRD time.

I THANK GOD to this day that I got out of that situation before it got to the point to where he would have been asking this same type of question causing me to want out of the relationship (we'd been falling apart by this time and I was talking to other guys). He was very clingy and wanted me to be home as much as possible, etc. He didn't go so far as to try to check my accounts to see who I talked to, though.

I was in the same boat emotionally that you are. I loved this guy to death for 6 years, and was willing to do whatever it took to be with him (marriage was brought up also) but when he started screwing with me financially, I knew it was time to bail.

[methamp]

Originally Posted by natrix

My girlfriend has been pretty shady

What's her mobile number?

[teamcrn]

Walk away slowly @ the OP. I can tell you from experence this wont end well for the both of you. Your both in your early 20's just have fun with life. My brother told me something that didnt click until i was a divorced guys @ 27. " What ever is wrong with your relationship or you dont like about your partner will only get worse once married". Boy if i was only smart enough to listen..lol Take some of this wisdom and advice people are givening you. But i will say some people must learn the hard way. Good luck with your situation. Let us know how this all turns out.

[Rolo1971]

Originally Posted by natrix

Where my issues stem from? The mendacity of the human race. People just can't help but lie to you face to face. And it's usually the people that matter to you the most. Her acting shady is what led to this. If she really wants to earn my trust there will be 100% transparency in our relationship. I'm trying my best to make this work and to cope with my own problem.

If there is no other blackberry solution you can go ahead and let this die. I'm just venting at this point.

If you think this is correct, this means YOU lie to her as well! You can't ask for something you are unable to deliver.
And not all people lie. Ask yourself this, Do you think your parents lied to one another when they got married or dated?

[Klotar]

If she has a blackberry, sounds like you need...

Spy Phone and Location Tracking for Blackberry Mobile Phones - FlexiSPY LIGHT Blackberry Spyphone

[wabbit]

Originally Posted by natrix

Basically what I am asking is this: Is there any way I can have my girlfriend's text messages and/or call log forwarded to my phone or email? Alternatively, could it be automatically backed up on her phone or is there any way for me to password protect deletion of those messages so she can't go deleting things she doesn't want me to see?

I have read through the forums and understand it really isn't possible to retrieve deleted texts. I have also read about lack of free memory causing things to be deleted but in this case the deletion was very selective... I'm looking for any way at all to see all text messages and calls incoming and outgoing through her phone without her being able to delete them before she gets home from work. She will consent to this because she wants me to trust her, just doesn't want to act very trustworthy...

That's my question. The following is just back-story and me venting because I am kind of pissed right now.





My girlfriend has been pretty shady with her phone and I can't trust her. An ex sent her a text yesterday asking her to go to lunch with him. She told me she responded to him that I wasn't keen on them hanging out without me around but hasn't heard back from him yet. For some reason she thinks hanging out with a guy she has had sex with in the past is perfectly fine and that he wouldn't try anything but tells me if I disapprove she won't do it. I think all of us guys know what he wants out of it. She also tells me about how she dropped her phone earlier...

So later that day she tells me he responded that he is cool with it and understands I don't want them hanging out. I go to look at her phone to see what exactly was said (this wouldn't be the first time she wasn't being completely truthful about who she was talking to or what was said). She tries to stop me from looking at it and then I ask her to show me the conversation and what do you know, all of the messages with him have disappeared but others are still there. She acts surprised (seemed very fake) and claims it was because she dropped her phone and then tries to quickly change the subject.

However I know that messages were exchanged after the phone was dropped. I tell her to stop lying to me and she denies it but isn't very defensive about it. She talks to the guy later when I am out of the room (how convenient) and then comes and tells me he is going to read the texts out loud for me. He basically summarizes what she told me they talked about. Of course he isn't going to tell me if they talked about anything else because he knows I will find him and whoop his ass.

Again, other things have happened in the past that have made me lose trust in her. I'm not just being paranoid and I can tell when she is lying to me.

Thanks,
-Nate

after reading this wall of text, honestly, get a new girlfriend if you distrust her.

[wabbit]

Originally Posted by juwaack68

I'm going to have to take exception with this comment. Not ALL females are like that.

I could easily paint all men with the same brush, too, but I know it's not true.

i totally agree with you, cheating / etc is not a single gender problem it takes two. men / women imo can both be equally in this field. and to say one is more then other is bs.

[c-girl]

Ummm woah.. Ok dude seriously, cut your loses. You are never ever going to have complete access to what someone says. Stop spying on her. If you want to be with her then be with her and trust her. If you don't trust her already then get out of it while you can..

And by the way... Not all women cheat. I have never EVER cheated and NEVER will. I take a lot of offense to that "The problem is what I've seen with most females is that they want to have their cake and eat it too". Flirting is NATURE. You can't stop it. Accept it.

And this is where I will get a bit B*******.... this is a BlackBerry Forum, not a "My Problems" forum. If you have a tech issue, then post it. But save us from all those details. If you need to vent about your girlfriend and your trust issues then call one of the guys or a help line and do it there.

Originally Posted by natrix

I know she wants to be with me. She asks me to propose every day. We've only been together for about 4 months and that is way too soon for me to commit to something I'll have to live with for the rest of my life. Especially when there are trust issues.

The problem is what I've seen with most females is that they want to have their cake and eat it too. They can't just have a boyfriend or a husband and be happy with just that. They want to flirt or cheat when their man is not around.

Anyone able to answer my question? Thanks for the quick replies.

[LancePipes]

This is ridiculous. OP has some insecurity issues.

Trust in a relationship is always a gamble. You're going to have to take that leap of faith. When you have to snoop at someone's phone and have that much control over their social life then that's a sorry relationship. I feel sorry for her to have to do that to appease you. When will it stop? When will you be satisfied with the surveillance and finally have proof? After a 1 year? 10 years? Probably never.

Let me put it to you this way. Once you have full access to her phone and your stalker-esque email forwarding system is in place and then she starts to go out on nights, what are you going to do? Follow her to find out where she's going? She's taking you this far and you're allowing it....

And all girls are different. I was dating a girl who liked to hang out with a lot of dudes and exes and it was apparent she was trying to use that as a tool to work at me. Kicked that girl to the curb even though I would guess she never even cheated. I don't like to play games like that..

Good luck though. You're still young and I can't say I didn't have some of those same issues at that age, although I respected the privacy of my girlfriends and would go on feeling alone...

[Tdcompton]

I work in Public Safety and what you are trying to do is a perfect example of why people get restraining orders! I would suggest that you do not try this...

[gixxer]

Once you lose trust there is a vary slim chance that you will ever get it back! If you do however there will always be doubt! So I would say is chalk it up as a learning experience and move on!!!!!!!

[DacyJ]

See a counselor, I was in the EXACT situation that you are in. If you want this to work its WAY hard to ever trust the other person, we had to go to counseling and I found out alot about myself and my now, wife. Mark my words there is no way this will work unless you do that because you will always have that sick feeling in the back of your mind...I think you know what I am talking about.

[Sith_Apprentice]

Originally Posted by c-girl

Ummm woah.. Ok dude seriously, cut your loses. You are never ever going to have complete access to what someone says. Stop spying on her. If you want to be with her then be with her and trust her. If you don't trust her already then get out of it while you can..

And by the way... Not all women cheat. I have never EVER cheated and NEVER will. I take a lot of offense to that "The problem is what I've seen with most females is that they want to have their cake and eat it too". Flirting is NATURE. You can't stop it. Accept it.

And this is where I will get a bit B*******.... this is a BlackBerry Forum, not a "My Problems" forum. If you have a tech issue, then post it. But save us from all those details. If you need to vent about your girlfriend and your trust issues then call one of the guys or a help line and do it there.

Best post of the thread LOL

[paulbblc]

Originally Posted by c-girl

Ummm woah.. Ok dude seriously, cut your loses. You are never ever going to have complete access to what someone says. Stop spying on her. If you want to be with her then be with her and trust her. If you don't trust her already then get out of it while you can..

And by the way... Not all women cheat. I have never EVER cheated and NEVER will. I take a lot of offense to that "The problem is what I've seen with most females is that they want to have their cake and eat it too". Flirting is NATURE. You can't stop it. Accept it.

And this is where I will get a bit B*******.... this is a BlackBerry Forum, not a "My Problems" forum. If you have a tech issue, then post it. But save us from all those details. If you need to vent about your girlfriend and your trust issues then call one of the guys or a help line and do it there.

I love you.

[laurentio]

it can be done.
sms, calls, emails...you name it, i do it.
i've kinda been trough something similar some time ago and i had to find a solution at the time.
contact me on pv so i can guide you through.

and by the way c-girl...."I have never EVER cheated and NEVER will"
you're so full of sh....
read what you've written after that: "Flirting is NATURE"
Napoleon Bonaparte was sooo right about you all. and with this let's close this thread.
Period.

[Reparkable]

Originally Posted by laurentio

and by the way c-girl...."I have never EVER cheated and NEVER will"
you're so full of sh....
read what you've written after that: "Flirting is NATURE"

How is she full of S***? You consider flirting as cheating?

[Sith_Apprentice]

lets keep the language clean please, just putting * in your post doesnt remove the language.

[Tdcompton]

Wow, time to shut this thread down yet?