Nicely done, Cory and everyone...this is the internet (and us humans in general) at their finest.
Donation sent, for phone/charity as required.
Having 1) Driven out from under a pair of very expensive perscription glasses once (I could hear them "screeeeeeeeeee" sliding across the roof of my car as I pulled away from the curb, and 2) Discovered that my laptop was right in front of me on on top of my hood as I was driving down the street at about 30 MPH, I can really empathize with your experience, Dawg.